The place of all the hidden pains...

it was a day like all the other days..
I woke up..the sun was shining..it’s summer..hot..no fresh air…
just warmth of the sunshine coming through my window…
all was good..someone would say..
but I wasn’t..my heart was beating fast..my mind was crazy from all the memories..

I decided to go there..
to the place of sorrow ..
to the place of all the hidden pains..

I came there..tears came out I felt them deep in my stomach..
I was there just to cry..to let it all out…to release myself from this burden..
I always wondered will it ever go..will there be an ending to this misery that I call life..
no one knows..people just listen to my words..they don’t understand the feeling..
this place is where I feel safe..this is the place where I say the truth..where I cry…where I scream…

it’s hard to let it go..my heart is still yearning for that dream that I created..
waking up was hard..I still cry every time when I remember that moment when I realized..
that dreams will not come true..

all this time I was trying to make them real..
life would be good..I thought..
just if this happens…just if that happens..
but life has another plan for me..

my tears won’t stop..I feel so much pain inside..but still..I feel so safe here..
I feel like I came home..

like I should stay here ..

I feel like I am standing upon my grave..

I know now..
this was not a dream..the dream was me waking up..
sun was a dream…
hot air was a dream…

my reality is cold..
my reality is under this ground..
my reality is death…

and NOW I woke up.

Comments

Benignjamin said…

This is really beautiful Mirela.

October 28, 2014 at 1:11 AM

Iron Sky..

there is time for everything.. time for love.. time for happiness.. time for sadness.. time for loneliness.. time for freedom.. time for pain.. time for hope... it takes time to make time.. it takes time to realize your true potential .. who you are and who you should be.. what is your place in this world.. and how important you are.. it takes time to realize that pain is your teacher.. that without darkness there wouldn't be light.. that you are stronger then you think.. that life is constant change and you are never the same.. every experience changes you.. every day is unpredictable .. your dreams can become reality and your reality can become a night mare.. you are only in control as much as you are able to let go controlling... life is constant movement..life is a piece of a puzzle you will never finish alone.. this every day struggle..running for better life..waiting for the right time..over thinking ..fighting..hur...

Forgotten and never remembered ...

Just breathe and listen to the song...

Suffocating… To kill or destroy by preventing access of air or oxygen. To impair the respiration of; asphyxiate. To cause discomfort to by or as if by cutting off the supply of fresh air. To suppress the development, imagination, or creativity of; stifle To die from lack of air or oxygen; be asphyxiated. To feel discomfort from lack of fresh air. To become or feel suppressed; be stifled. Breathless … Breathing with difficulty; gasping Marked by the suspension of regular breathing, as from tension or excitement: Causing or capable of causing the suspension of regular breathing; tense or exciting: Not breathing; without breath. Dead. Having no air or breeze; still. Can you feel it? If you can.. just slowly inhale and exhale. you are still breathing.. you are still alive.. and listen to the song .... Where do we belong, where did we go wrong If there's nothing here, why are we still here? I...

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